Letting him know what’s on my mind
I’m in a serious relationship and it is going to be a year. I am definitely in love
with him and he is in love with me also. He’s a great boyfriend: takes the time to
talk to me, expresses his feelings, calls me when he’s out with friends, lets me
know things he doesn’t neccessarily needs to tell me, buys me things especially when
I need them and so much more. However, when he gets me mad or when something is
bothering me…I hesitate big time to express myself. I have a hard time letting him
know what’s on my mind when something bothers me or when he questions me resulting
from the silent treatment I give and the attitude that may arise at times. I tend to
become stubborn and though I try to limit that and express myself- which is working-
I just dont feel its good enough. He understands me though. He doesn’t attack me
with words. But I want to become a lil more open because I really am- I changed over
the past months. He appreciates that. but I want to be a much better gir!
lfriend..though he says I’m the best girls he’s ever met or been with. I still want
to do so much more. So what can I do? I don’t go out much, I don’t have much money
to buy him the things I would love to buy him..I do things to make him feel
appreciated but what can I do to open up when theres something wrong and I really
need to tell him how I feel??…
It sounds like you’re having trouble communicating with your boyfriend. While your boyfriend sounds very considerate, maybe there’s something in your
relationship you’re just not seeing. You can use the Relationship Spectrum at http://www.teenrelationships.org/respect/ to
evaluate your relationship. If that doesn’t help you, it might help if you told your boyfriend about how you feel (like the fact that you feel like you can’t open up to him). Although I don’t know your boyfriend and how this kind of openness might affect your relationship, he might appreciate your being honest and it could be the first step to opening communication. Ultimately though, it’s up to you what you do about this. I hope some of this helped and that you two are able to work some things out. If you’d like to chat further, feel free to come into our chatroom at www.teenrelationships.org/chatroom/.
We’re open Mondays through Wednesdays, from 5:00 to 7:00 PM Pacific Standard Time.
The first step to opening up to someone is to trust them. Perhaps start talking about simple things that bother you? Then, when you are more confident and understand your boyfriend’s reactions, work up to the more difficult issues. Guys are uncomplicated beings and you shouldn’t need to shower him with gifts for him to understand how you feel about him. What really works is the one thing money can’t buy - spending quality time together.
I agree with Paul, I was with someone for almost 3 years, and I lost him because I failed to commincate with him. And there are times where I wish I had, I can’t believe that I lost him, and if you care about him as much as you say, you don’t wanna lost him. Guys may seem complicated but really they’re not, it’s us who make them complicated, because we choose too. ( I mean some girls when I say this.) So keep trying, and the thing with showering him with gifts, is a bad idea, it might only make him think that something is wrong and that he may be doing something wrong or you did something and just trying to make up for it, I hope everything works out.. Good luck.
Just remind yourself that he LOVES ya girl!!! and if you were in the same situation but he was the one with your feelings, you would want to know. I know its hard, i have this problem too, but you need to tell him out of love and respect for him