We had sex and like each other but he still has a girlfriend. What do I do?
okay so i met this boy at a friends party. i met him through my friend [which is his
cousin]. we both exchanged hugs & later on by the end of the night we were making
out. we kept talking few days after that constantly. we began to date about a week
later. then i broke up with him because there were several times in which he asked
if i was down to have sex with him. even after i told him that i wasnt like that and
that i was a virgin. he said hed wait for me as long as it took, what most guys say.
the next time we saw eachother, which was 4 days later, he asked me if i was already
ready. wow, what a way to wait “as long as it took.” so i talked to him about it and
he told me that he just figured its what i wanted and that it wasnt that big of a
deal. so i borke up with him because i didnt want to be going out with someone if
thats all they wanted or if they couldnt be with me without constantly thinking
about having sex. i borke up with him that night and we still kept talki!
ng every single day after that. even more than usual. it was as if we had become
best friends. a month later i realized that i really liked this boy. and that i
felt like i was ready to give him another chance because he had proved to me that
thats not all he really wanted. one day as we were talking i noticed him being a
little weird. i mentioned it & he said myabe it was because he had a new
girlfriend. i was surprised when he said that. im not gonna lie or deny the fact
that i cried. it hit me real hard. i kind of tried forgetting about him but it
didnt work. there was only one buy who i tried talking to but later on he turned
into a big time jerk spreading rumors and talking shit. so that only made me bounce
back to the only guy i could really rely on, which was jonathan. weve been talking
alot ever since we broke up. and now, 4 moths after the break up, weve become more
than best friends. we had sex about 2 weeks ago. i dont know how it happened it
just did. hes stil d!
ating this girl, but according to him its because he cant break up wit
h her now because her brothers are threatening him if he hurts her. he claims that
the past several times theyve hung out he hasnt had any feelings for her. i dont
know what to believe anymore. weve talked about this almost every night for the past
month. i told him that if he really does like her then he shouldnt have to deny it
to me. id rather him stay with her than lie to me. my question is, what should i do?
keep waiting for him to break up with her? or move on?
It sounds like you’re feeling pretty confused about the current situation with your ex and wondering how you can know whether he is planning to leave his current girlfriend or not. From your message, there are quite a few things that he has done that make me wonder how respectful he is in relationships. If you check out our relationship spectrum on this website (under respect), you can see that a lot of his behaviors could be considered part of an “unhealthy” relationship (pressuring you in some ways to have sex, cheating with his current girlfriend). We know that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior (not that people don’t change but it’s really hard to) so if you see a pattern of disrespect, there’s a higher chance that he may not be truthful right now. If you would like to get more support or talk online with one of our trained teen counselors more about this, log on to our live chatroom- we’re open Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays from 5-7pm (Pacific time). You can also call our hotline if you prefer during the same times at 650-259-8136.